Fudge

I needed to get out today.

 

I did all the things to release endorphins, worked out, took Maggie Rose for a walk, drank water. I still felt crappy. Not wanting to come back up to my place and feel crappy up here, Maggie and I went for a drive.

 

We ended up at Dairy Queen. Sugar is not a blah fixer, but what the heck. I decided on a small Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard. Dairy Queen young lady hands me my blizzard. I was all set for the touch of fudge.

 

None. No fudge. No caramel.

 

I tell her nicely I ordered CFCB. There’s no fudge.

 

What she said next had me questioning my sanity.

 

“Just because you ordered CFCB doesn’t mean you get fudge.”

 

I swear, I’m not feeling spiffy, this is a treat, and she’s trying to convince me CFCB doesn’t mean one gets fudge.

I wasn’t angry, I was just thrown a bit by her ignorant reply. I felt like a cartoon character shaking my head after a hard fall. I mean after all, government does the same thing, tells us what we heard or saw with our own ears and eyes didn’t really happen.

 

Okay then, just put a little fudge on top please.

 

She’s ticked off I requested a fudge, takes my cup, brings it back with what appears to be chocolate ice cream. I ask her, “What is this?” 

“You wanted fudge.”

 

“Yes, but there are no little chunks of cheesecake.”

 

They had been pulverized. She squirted fudge into the mix and blended. Oh dear.

 

I’m telling you, Blizzards are all about little pieces of goodness. And this is my second Blizzard in years. I want the little bits of goodness.

 

Okay.

 

I ask for a Brownie Batter Blizzard instead. She’s not happy. I still have my stuff firmly under control. Not wanting to upset her further I hand her my debit card and gently ask her to refund my purchase. She’s not happy, doesn’t take my card, closes the window, comes back with a perfectly divine Brownie Batter confection.

 

For the love of sugar, what the heck?

 

I graciously accept her peace offering, drive home, sneaking a few bites here and there, sticking the still full cup in my freezer, and I go to bed. Enough is enough.

 

Doubting myself I later get this description off DQ’s website thinking maybe I read the menu wrong:

 

“The NEW Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard ® Treat offers rich cheesecake pieces and decadent fudge-covered salty caramel pieces blended to perfection with our world-famous soft serve.”

 

Just because it says fudge doesn’t mean there’s fudge my fanny.

 

I handle a lot well most days, and I did today, it was after all just ice cream.

 

But don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining, okay?

 

Twilight Zone.