Addiction

I have a problem. 

 

Stumbling across Andrew Huberman on my Instagram feed I wanted to learn more about our microbiome(s), specifically gut. I then more intentionally, once viewing his YouTube channel, stumble across science and sleep, perfecting sleep, blah blah blah. I'm interested. 

 

Here's how I deal with interrupted sleep:

 

Ipad

Iphone

Not often but sometimes even the computer, sigh

Read...using electronics

 

My bed is filled with chargers, devices, not to mention Maggie Rose who snores like a 200-pound grown man at any given time.

 

Is it any wonder I struggle with insomnia?

 

Last night, to clean up sleep hygiene, rather than wean off electronics in the bedroom, I went cold turkey, as I do with all things which may cause problems. 

 

This one, electronics, is tough. No joke. 

 

Insomnia for me involves difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. My fight, flight, freeze never seems to give up the ghost, cortisol and all. 

 

I left my Mac in the living room, iPad in the kitchen, and I kept the phone in bed with a promise to not to pick it up at any time during the night. 

 

For quite some time I've disabled all notifications and ringtones. Weary of inevitable notifications somehow making it through despite my best attempts to silence them, I went whole-hog. Pavlov continues to teach, right? I'm not a dog seeking a treat when I quickly respond to endless, often needless notifications. Seldom do I turn on my ringtones, any call can be returned if callers a) leave a message or b) text me with information (best option). There are few exceptions. 

 

So, I eventually fall asleep. All clocks minus my cell phone are removed from my bedroom. Eventually I wake. It's still dark. You can't imagine how badly I want to know the time, so I can apparently practice math: how many hours of sleep can I get if I fall back asleep within five minutes? It's sick. 

 

Getting up, walking to the kitchen, I refuse to look at my microwave or stove. Nope. Ignore time; tonight, time doesn't matter.

 

Back to bed. Lying still for maybe thirty minutes, who knows how long, I finally pick up my forsaken phone. Five-O-five. 

 

YES!!!

 

My usual wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the night-time is three o'clock. 

 

Despite cheating and picking up my phone I consider this a win. 

 

Rather than waiting for sunrise I settle in for an eventual few more zzz's. 

 

I'm so turnoff by society and electronic device addiction. I also loathe cameras and video of every darn thing. One can't enjoy a nice meal without intrusion, no permission needed to intrude in anyone's life. And don't dare say you don't want to be part of a group picture, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??? EVERYONE GETS PICTURES, YOU ARE LIKE THE AKWARD FAMILY MEMBER!!! 

 

And I care why? It's my choice. Choices remember? We have choices. Leave me alone. 

 

My phone is antiquated, a 6S. It's threatened to die numerous times. When eventually it fails me, a burner phone may be my next phone. When the world wants more, more, more, concerning electronics, I'm seriously thinking NO, no more. Which means I need to update my address and phone book hard copy. 

 

I'll practice again tonight. Just thinking about no electronics invokes a bit of anxiety in the middle of the day, proof this addiction needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.