Sleep

I’ve never slept well. Yesterday a friend suggested a few apps to try. Through the years I’ve tried everything. So why not, I’ll try a new app. Which is your favorite? Calm, she tells me. I download and rock and roll with Calm when it’s time to catch some Zzz’s. 

A woman with an incredibly soothing voice begins to read me a bedtime story. I kid you not. My iPad automatically dims, and eventually goes dark. She continues to read. I fall asleep before I hear the end of the story. No joke. This is strange. I’m trying it again tonight. 

Maybe, if I ever date again, I need to ask them to read me a bedtime story first. If I go to sleep, ding ding ding, we have a winner.

Just kidding.

Maybe. 

Someone asked me the other day if I would be interested in being set up with a date. Sure, I tell them, just no alcoholics or sociopaths. Well, they reply, I don’t know, your standards are a little high. 

Now I can tell them the gentleman must have a soothing voice for bedtime stories. This should pretty much guarantee single status for the rest of my life.

I also want to see him dance to YMCA...if he has a sense of humor, we may have a future.