Oh Baby

It finally happened. I was driving home from work, and out of nowhere, three little deer butts are peeking through my windshield. I slam on my brakes, not soon enough for the little guy in the middle. He rolls up on my hood, and just as quickly, finds himself under my car. I'm devastated.

 

I don't even know what protocol is when one hits an animal. I ran over a squirrel one time who couldn't decide if he wanted to cross the road or not. The sound was awful, I'll never forget.

 

I pulled over to the side of the road to see if I could lay hands on him, pray, or drag his dead carcass off the road. I couldn't find him, not a sign. Two cars eventually pass me, they didn't dodge anything. That's a good sign, right? But still I HEARD him under my car, like I ran over rumble strips. It was horrible. The next morning I looked for him, no sign of blood, or suffering critter.

 

I hope he only had a concussion and bruised ribs. Poor little thing.

 

If you know me, you know I'm not big on calling 911 even when needed, much to the chagrin of the owners of my place. So, calling and saying, "hey y'all, I hit a critter, but I can't find him. Do I leave the scene of a potentially deadly accident, or do we need to write up a report of suspected accident, with no sign of a victim? Can you just haul me to jail for accidentally hitting a slow-butt deer, because I really need to do some sort of penance? Absolve my guilt, get the sound of that baby under my car out of my head, please."

 

Why am I so soft hearted? I don't believe we live multiple lives, but if we do, next time I want to be a heartless broad, okay?

Write a comment

Comments: 0