I'm a Professional

And for my next trick...

I'm ambidextrous. I can hit a softball (can't catch with either hand, I'm afraid I won't catch it and it will hit me in the face, wuss), I can hit a tennis ball right or left handed, I eat right handed, write left handed.

I decided I want to use both hands for everything — meals, range practice, washing my dog, coloring my hair, knife-wielding.

Wouldn't you know, I eat with the left hand like I've been doing it all my life.

Nothing comes between me and my food.

Perhaps I need to get a life. 

#pro