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I learned something new today...

An acquaintance speaks English, Serbian, and Slovenian, fluently. She dabbles in a couple other languages, greetings and such. Somehow, I don’t remember why, she told me Americans do not know how to properly curse. Excuse me? That’s right, you don’t know how to curse. I beg your pardon. She proceeds to tell me about Kobe Bryant, how he played ball in Italy, played with a lot of Serbian basketball players, and learned to curse in Serbian. (But of course he did, many times in our youth, or at least mine, bad words were the easiest to remember. I can probably curse a blue streak to this day in Spanish. I’m not proud, I’m just saying.)

She YouTubes ‘Kobe cursing in Serbian’. He’s shooting free-throws and letting an unsuspecting opponent know exactly what he thinks about fouls and such, successfully connecting with the hoop. I’m quite certain cursing was a form of stress relief for Kobe, and he was never penalized, as who the heck knew what he was saying. 

So she teaches me a little Serbian, because y’all know I like languages, even small phrases. With conviction I spew the phrase, just as she had done. Later she ask me a question, I growl my new phrase. Behind her mask she’s trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. What did I say, I ask. (This should be the first question you ask when being taught a new language, just so you know.) She explains what I told her to do to me, which is physically and otherwise impossible, considering anatomy and all. 

She’s right, other countries take cursing to a whole new level. Her mother, the Slovenian side of her heritage, is also fluent in Italian. My acquaintance gave a demonstration how to properly hand gesture in Italian, as well. 

Aren’t my friends the best?

I’m well prepared for the next few months prior to election. 

Beware.

(Kobe Bryant was brilliant, not just on the court.)