Anxiety is such the last few weeks that I awaken shaking. I’ve tried to pass it off as anything but anxiety. The truth though, I know anxiety well, we are intimately acquainted. I’ve resorted to taking a low dose anti-anxiety, only as absolutely necessary. Another, perhaps more important step, is to get back to self-discipline — exercising, practicing breathing techniques, staying focused, nurturing my spiritual self, my soul, through scripture. Reading and learning, these also strengthen me, laughing too.
So today, our day off, Maggie and I took a quick two mile hike, something I’ve not done regularly after the whole avulsed meniscus saga, not because I couldn’t, I’ve just not been disciplined. Outdoors, nature, is good medicine. Maggie ran almost the entire time. I moseyed along. The Hoback and Snake have returned to the most beautiful blue-green, aqua, the color of mine and George’s eyes. George and I were meant to live on the Snake, as this is kismet.
A dear friend departed for a new adventure. Each time this happens, and in life, this will happen, I’m left feeling empty. So, I need to change how I view inevitable life changes. I will put his memory in a happy place, the good memories file, rather than the I-may-never-see-him-again file. I’ll remember the laughter, incredible intelligence, and a killer survivor instinct. Yes, I’ll miss him, but good memories are more precious than melancholy.
I tell you this, share the vulnerability, as I’m not the only one with these crappy feelings right now. Do what you need to do to pull yourself out of the funk, reign in anxiety, and navigate storms of life.
We are in this together.
xoxo
D
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