Sipping coffee this morning, I’m contemplating world events, behavior changes over several decades, of myself and others. Things like mind reading, ESP. Is it just me or do you think this gift is much more prevalent now than in the past? One only needs listen briefly to women arguing or ‘discussing’ others and you will hear "Oh, that’s not what she meant, I guarantee, I know EXACTLY what she meant. She was speaking in the negative. I KNOW because I heard her talking one time, back in 1984, and I KNOW what I heard. Don’t tell me my ears are wrong. I don’t like her, my mama doesn’t like her, the devil himself doesn’t like her. She’s sorry, no good, everyone knows she’s no good. Do you know she didn’t even like reading to her children? Yeah, that’s a fact, I know this because I wasn’t even born yet, but I’m saying it, so it’s true, and one day I may be a psychologist, which makes me right. Cause I’m smart, you know. She visits, in Texas, grandbabies from another daughter, and hasn’t seen her own grandkids. I know this to be fact, because I make up facts as I go along. Additionally she thinks beautiful mountain weddings are dumb, just stupid. Who thinks this? She’s horrible I tell you, just horrible. You don’t know her, because if you did, trust me, you would not like her, so I’m forming an army to make sure I spread as much vile and hate as humanly possible. Let’s face it, we can make the world worse. Who’s with me?”
Tongue firmly in cheek, because I have a warped sense of humor, some or all of the above may or may not have been overheard, read, or received second, third or forth hand, kinda like government hearings.
Another thing, is it legal to travel, frequently, to exotic locations and return stateside cranky? I mean, unless you’ve been an undercover mother, under a little stress, why would a lovely vacation make you mad? This is mad cow disease, and it is contagious. I don’t think there is a vaccination for this, except to distance oneself from the mad cow.
Speaking of vaccinations…I received my first shingles vaccination yesterday. Too many people are getting shingles, no bueno. So I stop by the pharmacy while my clothes are washing and get the first shot. Dang thing hurt, and I don’t have a problem with most injections. My arm might be limp and useless this morning, and sore. Maybe I exaggerate. It is sore though.
On to laundry… Did you know The Missing Sock is closed after a certain time on Christmas Eve, and all day Christmas? Grocery stores are closed too. Yeah. What’s up with that? People have lives? I need to wash clothes, however, I’m glad you were able to spend time with family, if that’s your gig.
Now, let’s talk about fat. I prepared large holiday meals for decades, and always needed to lose weight, as a consequence. I felt terrible, lethargic, every time I was gluttonous. Here’s what happens now: my pants get tight because all y’all are overeating, sympathy weight. I bear no responsibility for grazing like Bessie the cow. None. It’s the fault of others, certainly not mine. I want a participation trophy. I didn’t earn a thing but give it to me.
Entitlement…here’s a big one. One manager actually asked me how I would make the work place better for millennials…my mind, oh man, it’s trouble. Look broad, how do you make the work place better for baby boomers, gen x’ers, the greatest generation? I tell ya how we help millennials: hold them to the high standards that made this country great. No whining rooms, no counseling because overtime was required, unless they do it on their time, their dime. Not one benefit because someone dare disagree with them. And PLEASE if they can’t do the job, if attitude is toxic, privately discuss behavior modifications with them, give them fair warning. Behavior doesn’t change? Two words — pink slip. Teach them what a pink slip is, doesn’t always mean it’s pink, make this clear.
I know great millennials, my mentor is a millennial. Not all are foolish, by far. I would say those who are problems know who they are, but seriously, I’m keeping it real.
As I write, I laugh at these foolish examples, smile.
Do I have an advanced case of sarcasm? Yep.
I’m obviously frustrated with exemptions for some. One way to help with immigration issues? Those who were born here, complain, curse America, replace them with those who want to be here. Simple. done. Let ‘em figure it out, grow up. If you want to live here, don’t let me see you posting on social media saying f**k our president. Why would you even want to be here if those are your feelings? During my life I’ve not agreed with several presidents, hard to believe I know. But respect the office. Vote.
Hmm, I’m finished for now. Standing in line at Albertson’s, a really long line, telling folks, “looks like we will be here a while, let’s get to know each other,” may get me looks, some good, some would-you-shut-the-heck-up, a few smiles, but the line went faster. And my mind was working overtime, analyzing. I’m not a professional, just so you know.
Because you read all this, I have a bonus for you, for being my friend.
Boiled eggs...
Bring to a boil and boil for 5 minutes.
Remove from heat. Cover. Let stand 5 minutes.
Run cold water over them until safe to peel.
Enjoy
I thought you might need to know how to do boiled eggs right, and they don't stink, seriously. A friend who knows chefs gave me this. It works. I think he told me the chef's grandmother taught him this. Grandmothers, they're the best.
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