I read often concerning leadership. Leading, managing isn't easy. We build leaders. Moms and Dads build leaders. Corporations build leaders, select good leaders, and if they are very wise, corporations select solid leaders.
Military builds leaders, often times great leaders.
The last six years have been enlightening. I've shared the good, my strong female mentors. With the good, there also comes the bad. I've seen it all.
Someone doesn’t want to train or mentor the new hire? Too much time (really, any time) spent promoting a destructive work environment? Let ‘em go. Fire ‘em. Pure poison. Women with monthly attitude problems? Older women with menopause attitude? Get treatment, get a work positive attitude, or leave, take it home. Dear friends, you aren’t the first to experience women issues. Family problems? Again, you are not the first. For decades women have worked without destroying others. Your ‘right’ isn’t to build a hornet’s nest. Do you find it funny when others struggle? You are a 20-75 year old junior-high-attitude child. Are you a thief, do you rifle through others’ possessions, do you think you are untouchable, because of who you ‘know’? Perhaps we ‘know’ the same people...I can guarantee my wealthy, famous friends, and my poor and in-between friends do NOT tolerate stupidity, hatefulness. The destruction obvious in the work place(s) is glaring.
Drama...ain’t no one got time for that. Too often drama rules the day.
I do not need, do not want friends who aren’t straightforward. I do not want friends, men or women, who don’t speak up, address injustices. You can bet your sweet tush I won’t/haven't remained silent.
The little victim’s vest I’m tempted to snuggle in occasionally? An albatross. I will not wrap in faux security, excuses. Besides, my wealthy, poor, in-between, exceedingly wealthy, intelligent, law enforcement, military, famous friends will never let me get away with playing the victim.
I’ve allowed more than one woman to get away with abhorrent behavior. (I can’t believe there is more than one. And I certainly can't believe I've tolerated ongoing abusive behavior.) I have NEVER had a male manager even think of trying to pull the garbage I've seen women do to one another. Let me be clear—it is NOT about a woman being assertive, thus accused of being the 'B' word. I appreciate strong, confidant women. I do not need to always agree with someone to like them and their leadership style. What I'm referring to has been blatant workplace abuse, toxic work environments.
My first job in the workforce after raising kids—College Station, Texas, James Avery— was my best training field. The manager wouldn’t tolerate bull stuff. I learned so much from her. Her expectations were clear, not one person was EVER belittled for asking questions, the environment was not one of distrust. We were a team. Her life wasn’t easy, and that fact didn't affect how she treated others. I think of her often. She’s since retired, but her legacy is well known.
And my mentor? A MILLENNIAL, whom I personally requested, a former member of the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M, a woman. She is a strong woman, not afraid to speak her mind and lead with grace, and grit when necessary. You know why I chose her, aside from positive, proven leadership qualities, intelligence, and a solid work ethic? For the rest of my life I will be working with millennials, gen x’ers, men, women, whomever, whatever. Wisdom, I wanted to absorb wisdom from her. I’m a better associate for learning what each demographic expects, their likes, dislikes. You know what else? Millennials get a bad rap. Far too many of the younger generations are giving to our nation, selflessly and often - first responders, military (many of whom are the cream of the crop), leaders and managers - to be labeled with one huge invalid label. Stop labeling, throwing everyone into the same ugly, negative pot. I'm weary of invalid generalizations.
What have I learned? I’ve learned abusive managers are wimpy and mean because they choose to be. It’s a choice. It’s not about the decade in which they were born. Bad managers set others up for failure, and not infrequently, they brag about it. Seen as funny by a few, this behavior is beyond destructive, and unfortunately women managers are those I've experienced first hand, of which I speak. No doubt, men have been the perpetrators of such behavior. No. Doubt. My personal experience has been women abusing authority and power. Ethically challenged women, women lacking a moral compass.
The funny, not so funny? It is a well known established fact, people in at LEAST five states know of the reputation of one of these women, actually more than one. No joke. I keep hoping we find out we are being saved from Russians, or space aliens, because these people are sacrificing everyone else for the greater good. But truthfully, not only are they insecure, they are probably sick. Take your meds, jerk(s).
Don’t like what I've said here? You are probably part of the problem.
One more comment. I am all for more women in politics. Good women, intelligent women. Let us choose wisely. We have so many better choices than those I see and hear today. You can't convince me these were the best of the best. Don't even try.
Kumbaya folks, kumbaya.
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